The Adventures of Mactowne

So there I was in Chiang Mai... I rolled in via the airport and got a cab to the bus station, dropped my bag, then took a tuk-tuk to the local women's prison, which is where I left off. This was another of Lonely Planet's major successes in terms of informing travellers of things that are fun and unique (not always a quality of their books in their entirety). So, one of the things you can do in Chiang Mai, now that you're planning a trip, is go to this women's prison and visit the "prison shop." They have it set up so that women that will be released in the next 6 months can sell goods and services to earn money for themselves, which they can take with them upon release to get their reintegration off to a good start. I wasn't much interested in the knitted goods, but instead opted for the first massage I've ever had, Thai style. I had to wait a few moments, as many LP readers obviously go through there, then got a change of clothes and got ready. I tied the pantaloons and shirt up incorrectly, of course, so they motioned for me to change things around, which I did. After that this woman comes by with a basin of water and washes my feet (I was biting my lip to defeat the tickle factor here). I'm not necessarily into having people touch my feet, but I was a bit self conscious about them, being that I had been on an overnight flight and spent many hours in airports for the hours preceding my arrival at their massage parlor. The wash, therefore, was much appreciated. So, I lay down on this mat after that and the woman proceeds to do this hour long massage that I have to say was pretty nice. The fact that it cost about $4 was also pretty nice. She karate chopped, stretched, twisted, and kneaded her way all over the place, and I felt much refreshed despite the 4 broken hours of sleep I had going in there. So, that done, I also wanted to see a Wat (Buddhist temple) with my remaining time. There are lots and lots of them in and around Chiang Mai, but I opted for Wat Pho, a forest wat, a bit outside the city (big surprise). It was a very peaceful place that put all things on display, from the Buddhist teachings to the daily lives and labor of the resident monks. I spent some time walking around the grounds, checking out some small caves constructed a while back there, and found this awesome Buddha sculpture that depicts him in a fasting form with exposed ribs and veins. Pretty cool / atypical image.

After there I headed back into town, got on the bus, and took the hour long ride up to Chiang Dao. Upon arrival in town I was dropped on the street (there's really just one main strip) with no clue what to do about finding the place I wanted to stay in. It came from LP again, and is a place called Chiang Dao nest. It's a "mini resort" as they call it, so it's a bit outside the center of town. English was pretty uncommon at this point, so I walked up the road with my bag until I found a 7-11, and decided to head in to see if anyone had heard of it. Again, not much English, but the level of service in this Thai 7-11 is quite a bit different from that in the American stores, to say the least. I poked by big, mute finger at the name of the place in the LP book for one of the employees, and she took the book, motioned for me to wait, then went in the back. A burst of chatter revealed the fact that several other female employees were talking about this little puzzle, and about a minute later the original woman came back out and handed me a cell phone that was already connected to someone. "Hello" was pretty much all it took. I was talking to one of two taxi drivers in the town who spoke a fair amount of English and told me to sit tight for a few minutes until he could arrive there at 7-11 to pick me up. Sweet. Sweet, sweet Thai people. I think the American equivalent of those women would've asked me for smack and / or totally ignored me.

So, along comes the taxi driver and he takes me out to this place, which is now dark except for a large covered patio area with lots of tables where the restaurant serves everyone. I check in to a room with no problem for $15 / night and am immediately impressed by the whole place. I had my own little A-frame bungalow with a couple of twin beds in it and an attached, sunken bathroom that's decked out with fancy soap and everything. The whole thing used pretty rustic / indigenous construction methods and did it very well. The windows were nice and big, I had a balcony off the back with a couple of chairs that looked into a forested area, and no noise at all besides the fall of rain drops and the symphony of insects, birds, and whatever else lives all around that place. It was gorgeous. I cleaned up and went back for dinner on the patio, which is where they make their real money. The food is fancy western kind of stuff (the whole place is run by and Englishman and his Thai wife) and I think I probably paid about $20 for two courses, dessert, and tea. The food was excellent. I didn't mind parting with the money at all. I stayed up for a bit, then finally gave in to my fatigue and hit the hay. The next morning I got up to ask the owner about the treks they organize, which range from 1-3 days. They involve all kinds of things, including elephant treks, bamboo rafting, hiking, hill village visits, etc. It all sounded good to me, but time was way too limited, as usual. I realized I wouldn't be able to start anything that morning and was told to check in again later in the day to see what everyone else was up to. So, instead I headed out in a taxi towards the Chiang Dao Elephant Training Center. I thought the taxi would take me all the way there, but instead he dropped me at the bus stop in town. I guess he didn't want to go that far... The bus came a few minutes later, but I wasn't sure it was the regular bus I was waiting for. I stood up with my bag and was two steps behind an older Thai gentleman, but this is the kind of place where the bus doesn't stop - it just slows to a roll. The Thai guy got on, I did not. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared. They run every 30 minutes, so I sat back down. During this time some of the Thais hanging around the bus shelter showed me a vendor cart of particular interest. It had several pieces of sugar cane hanging down from the little roof on strings, with each cane being about 16" long. Half the cane was stripped of the outer coating, exposing the white flesh beneath. On that portion, one per cane, sat a very large beetle with a big horn coming off its snout (I think these are long horn beetles). A short length of string was attached to the piece of cane on one end, and to the horn of the beetle on the other, securing it to the cane but giving it a bit of room to move. The description I got was in Thai, so I didn't quite get it... I let it go by, but ended up coming back later in the afternoon looking for it. I figured it must be something you eat, and I was determined to try it by then. Unfortunately it was gone by the time I checked back. I would've been way off, I later discovered, as the resort owner lady explained that the beetles only come around at this time of year, and they're made to fight one another (two males are placed in a small trench with one female on a little island in the middle), which is a huge gambling attraction for Thai people. So really I would've been eating someone's prized horse, which might have caused a little trouble. Good thing I missed it, I guess.

Eventually a shared taxi came by (a pick up truck with benches on either side of the bed), and I hopped in at the urging of one of the locals, who knew where I was headed by now. A bit later he stopped to let me out at the elephant center, for much less than I would've paid any other day. I went in and found it to be a pretty standard tourist trap, so I fed an elephant and its calf, took an hour long ride in the forest, and departed via bamboo raft. At the end of the raft ride I caught up with another raft and briefly talked to the two tourists, who were in Thailand from Hawaii but one of them was born in San Diego - Grossmont Hospital actually. Small world.

I went back up to Chiang Dao Nest after all of this, then set out to hike around. I went first to a Buddhist temple that is set high on a hill near where I was staying, and I took the 500 steps to get up there, sweating heavily despite the fact that it was raining. It was bloody humid.

I hung out up top for a while, found a seated, dead monk that I'm pretty sure is the actual remains of the founding monk, took some haunting photos of him, then left. I next tried to conquer a poorly marked "nature trail" but couldn't get more than a few meters in before the trail disappeared and I was in a dry creek bed. I finally gave up on that and walked back. I dropped some stuff off, then decided to go by road to a nearby cave complex. I was raining pretty well by now and I was already soaked, so I gave up trying to be dry. By the time I got down to the entry I was dripping wet and was greeted by an old man and a young buy who were waiting out the weather in a small (bus?) shelter. He told me that the caves were already closed. Bummer... so, I walked around a bit more, arrived back at the cave gate (but farther in off the road) by another path, hiked up to the closed gate, then left and headed back towards the nest. On the way one of the employees recognized my dripping wet back as she went by in a pickup and stopped to pick me up, then shared her ride back to the Nest. The wind (in the back of the pickup) combined with the heavy rain pretty well got anything that wasn't already soaked the rest of the way wet, so I changed clothes and took advantage of the availability of the laundry service. I talked with an English woman who was also looking to do a quick trek (only a day), and told her I'd check in again after dinner. I went that night to Chiang Dao Nest 2, the second generation, to try out their Thai kitchen. I walked the 5 minutes back and forth in absolute darkness (there's nothing out there), which was fun. I had another great meal, cheaper than the first, then headed home and decided to go out the next day for a one day hike deal with the English lady. We stayed up a bit enjoying that patio and a couple of drinks, then turned in at about 10pm, which feels very late in that part of the world. I slept well, got up early, had breakfast, and got the news that we'd be joining a couple for the first day of their 3 day trek. They were a recently married English couple that booked a private trek for their 6 month anniversary, but graciously let us tag along for the first day. Really nice people, so they were fun to go out with. We got a ride to the top of a mountain, hiked down into a village, then had a guide show us into a cave network at the edge of their fields. These were the most interesting caves I've seen so far. Lots of standard stalagmites and stalactites, but the passages were narrow in many places and forced a lot of scrambling around on all fours. I loved it, but my companions were a bit more claustrophobic. We went at least a quarter of a mile, maybe more, before we stopped to rest. I got everyone to turn off their lights and it was the darkest thing I've ever seen. We were so far from any natural light that there was just nothing at all to see. Complete black. One of the ladies wanted the lights back on pretty quickly after that, so we complied. The guide then wanted to head into one more particularly tight passage, but the others weren't having it. I went alone with him, as they said they didn't mind waiting, and we went at least another 1/4 to 1/2 mile into a separate section. I think the most interesting thing was that many of the stalactite formations are hollow and produce sounds almost like musical instruments as you knock on them. We did this pretty frequently as we walked along. Eventually, to the relief of the others, we re-emerged to where they were waiting, then worked our way all the way back out to the surface. Afterwards we went back to the village and ate a delicious lunch on a small hut's veranda and watched the rain come down. On the way out we suited up in plastic over-wear kind of things to stay dry, then started a second hike up towards a big waterfall. About 5 minutes in we ducked beneath a tree branch and, somehow, a bee or wasp of some kind got into my hood, which was pulled up over my head, and buzzed around on the back of my neck long enough to give me a couple of quick jabs. Lovely... So, I got the plastic off, threw down a few Benadryl, which I remembered to carry with me, with uncharacteristic speed, and just asked for a few minutes to see what would happen. Being that the sting site was the back of my neck (sort of close to my breathing area), I didn't want to start hiking and circulating the blood again. There was no stinger, fortunately, and I don't think much venom got in at all. It only ended up amounting to a couple of large mosquite bit types of wounds. But Thailand's wilderness wasn't done with me yet... We hiked a while longer and got up to the waterfall, which our guide walked right under. He wanted us to do the same, but no one was jumping at the opportunity. Eventually I couldn't resist, and stripped off my shirt and pack to go under. The fall was about 20-25' high and the force of the water hitting me was amazing. It nearly knocked me over, more than once. I got a free shower out of the deal, then collected my stuff and we started back down. 30 seconds into that, something, yet unknown, bit me right at the top of my ass crack. It then took a few steps down and got me again near the same place. It was a sudden, definite pain that gave me a bit of my typical reaction to venom, but my finger scoops through the top of my crack never yielded a perpetrator. I have no idea what it was or how it managed to stay there after such a torrential downpour as that I had just enjoyed. But, it got me... and not much more came of it than had the bee stings. That's two. The last leg had us continue on to another village where the couple would stay the night and we would head back to the Nest. We walked along for a hile before I grazed my shin on a small plant that was hanging just a bit into the path (the path was about as wide as a goat path and it cut through pretty dense forest). Id' been grazing plants all along with no trouble, but this time I saw some blood start up right away. "That's some kind of sharp grass," I thought, but I was wrong. The woman in front of me and the one behind both got the same thing. Our guide then pointed out the extremely colorful, bristly, poisonous caterpillar that had just hit all three of us. It was a good-looking thing, but I didn't manage a picture. Instead I rubbed some anti-histamine on the wound, which one of the ladies had, and we continued on. Eventually we got up to the village and admired the view out for a bit, which consisted of dark green mountain peaks cloaked in drifting white clouds. It was really pretty... but, I had to get back, get my stuff, and catch the last bus down to Chiang Mai. I had arranged my plans again to go to Chiang Mai that night, get a room, then fly out the next morning to Bangkok, then fly directly out again to southern Thailand. So, we drove on. The people at the Nest helped me get a taxi once I got there, which took me directly to a bus station outside of town where I was guaranteed a bus down south. It was later than the last advertised bus, so this was lucky. I got on, went to sleep, and got in a bit later. I next grabbed a tuk-tuk to a tourist strip, found a nice, cheap room, and headed out for food and to purchase the tickets to the south. Air Asia is really cheap, even 18 hours before your flight, so I got a good deal to head into Phuket without much of a layover the next day. I basically went to sleep after that, exhausted from everything else that day. The next morning I got out early, got a cab to the airport, flew to Bangkok, then went from Bangkok to Phuket, then took a boat directly to Ko Phi Phi. I only had three days and I decided to judge everything based on LP descriptions, so I went straight to the island.

Ko Phi Phi was heavily affected by the tsunami, but is looking pretty decent now. I walked way into town and past it and found a small, quiet complex of bungalows, where I grabbed a room. Another cool place, if a little mosquito-infested. I went right back out to check out the dive scene and ended up in the first shop I saw, where a friendly dive instructor took me through all their dives. He was a Spanish guy who had just moved there three weeks ago, but he knew his stuff and the shop had all the insurance, etc., so I knew I was already miles ahead of the Red Sea experience. I signed up for a couple of deep dives for the next day, then headed out for food. I jumped on Thai pancakes left and right and spent the afternoon getting to know the town. That night I stopped in the dive shop to make sure we were still on for the next day (the weather wasn't cooperating) and found that the deep dives were too rough to make, so we'd do local dives on nearby islands instead. Not ideal, but I just wanted to dive. I milled around a bit more that night, read, and slept soundly in a nice big mosquito net.

I got out the next morning and killed some time in the dive shop (someone was late or something so we got delayed), then we went out. Several instructors had people on the boat and I ended up having Joan (my guy) all to myself. This was cool because we got in and out of the water first and had lots of flexibility with the dives. This turned out to be important in the second dive, where we found a sea turtle that later divers would miss. It wasn't afraid of us at all and it swam along with me for a meter or two while it was just about a meter away. The seas were rough, currents were strong near the surface, and visibility was a bit impaired (5-12 meters), but it was still some fun diving. I was so comfortable in all the equipment compared to the other dives that I was right on par with Joan was far as air use. We got good, long dives in, then went back to the docks in a wild rain storm that I watched from the top of the boat. Thoroughly soaked, I went back to the room to clean up, then set out a while later for a hike up to the Phi Phi Viewpoint. There are major steps along the way, but you're justly rewarded with a view over the narrow land bridge that connects two larger sides of the island. I was taking pictures up there when a guy wanted me to take some for him, and we exchanged the favor. He turned out to be a friendly Brazilian guy and we started talking. We decided to head down the other side of the hill together to check out another beach. We moved fast, despite the rain and mud, found a pretty small, desolate, and inactive beach, then hiked back to the summit, all in about 30 minutes. He's a dance instructor, so he was keeping pace very nicely. I expected him to run away from me, but we had a pretty compatible speed, which is always good. At the top we stopped again, debating about looking for the sunset behind the heavy clouds, and started talking to a guy who runs a whop at the top. He was busy chasing his little girl around but let us sit beneath his overhang out of the rain for quite a while and told us a bit about the tsunami experience and displayed his ability to speak about 5 languages. Cool guy... After that the Brazilian guy wanted to find another beach, so we hiked down to the town and started along the shore in the right direction. It turned out to be a 45 minute hike that ended in the dark. We picked up a couple of English girls along the way, which was fortunate for them because they were staying at this beach and didn't exactly know how to get back to it after going into town for dinner that night. I got us there eventually, and we went for a quick swim in the sea before going to have dinner at the little restaurant attached to their ... what would you call it? Resort? Shabby resort. There we go. After dinner we had the good fortune of seeing a water taxi pull up on shore right in front of us, and we split it back to the main town (there are no roads or cars on Ko Phi Phi) with a couple of other people. At that point I split off and headed to the dive shop again. I booked a night dive for the next night and decided I'd probably just stay on Ko Phi Phi as long as I was in southern Thailand.

The next morning I got up and planned on a nice little kayak trip. I got a waterproof bag from a local shop, stuck the camera in, then rented a one person and particularly squirrely kayak on the north side of town. The shop owner seemed surprised since the sea was pretty rough, but I think he really just wanted to upsell me to renting a guy with a motor boat. So, I packed my stuff on the back and started out. As soon as I jumped on I tipped it over immediately and fell back into the knee deep water. Good thing I got that bag. I was successful the second time and now a bit used to the easy tipping, so I headed north, hoping to make it to the northern tip of the island in a couple of hours. I think it's about 3 miles to get up there. I went maybe 3/4 of a mile and pulled into a little bay to check out an empty beach and played around there for a while. I tried my hand at climbing a coconut tree (got a good 6 feet before I decided I'd do better on land), climed up through a limestone chimney I found on the edge of the beach, messed with the resident crabs, then headed back out. An hour or so later I made it up to the north point, which seemed a little too fast, but I later verified that that was where I was with a map of the island. There's a very shallow reef there with lots of fishies and very clear water, so I hung out for a while and tried to use the snorkel mask the kayak guy had given me. It was way too big for me and leaked like a sieve, so this didn't last long, but I caught a few fun glimpses of the life below the surface. Afterwards I packed up again, and headed down. It had been very rainy and cloudy the whole time I'd been in Thailand, but this changed while I was out on the water. The sun wasn't unobstructed, but stronger than it had been and behind only a thin layer of clouds. My casual sunscreen job proved insufficient later on, as I got pretty fried. Who knew... So, I eventually got back to the original beach, pretty wiped out, and gave the boat back. I then spent several hours eating and resting before the night dive. I met Joan again later on for that, had some tea with him while we waited for the right time of day, then we headed out to the dive boat. Again, I was the only diver besides him and we were the only two on the boat this time. We went along a reef not too far from the main island. Visibility was crap, maybe 5 meters or so, but at night this was kind of cool because you can only see by your light anyway. It just kept things nice and dark all around. We caught a few fun things, including several moray eels, some kind of cuttle fish (I think), and lots of sleeping fishies. We only spent 45 minutes on a pretty shallow dive (I don't know why, but he did stipulate 45 minutes ahead of time), so we both came up with over 100 bars left in our tanks. Oh well... It was still fun. I went back to the room afterwards, cleaned up, then submitted to the calls of the women at the local massage parlor only because they had "aloe vera massage" on the menu. So, for an hour, another Thai woman coated me from head to toe in the stuff. I had dinner after that and called it a night.

The next day I had to head back toward Bangkok, so I got my stuff together and brought it straight to a Thai restaurant where I had arranged to do a quick cooking class before I left. This was one thing I really wanted to do in Thailand and it had hitherto evaded me, but this was a good (if short) opportunity to still do it. I made three dishes with the instructor and devoured all of them in about an hour and a half, got a little cook book out of it, then continued to the boat to head to Krabi, where I'd catch my next plane. I flew into Bangkok eventually, and got the bus to the tourist strip. I got my cheapest room yet near there for only $6, then spent time in the little market strip observing the intersection of traditional Thai food, Ronald McDonald, and the internet.

The next morning I got up early and grabbed a tuk-tuk to a local temple that houses a huge reclining Buddha. I had very little time before I had to head to the airport, so this was kind of the only thing I got to do during the day in Bangkok. It was a good choice, though, and I got some good photos there to boot. Afterwards I made my way to the airport, checked in, was stripped of my Camp Suds (bastards), got on the plane, and flew to Ho Chi Minh City. Hello, Saigon. Okay, one country at a time. I'll continue with Vietnam next.

posted by Matthew MacLeod @ 7:39 AM